Suffering and Psalm 28

Today, I am staring at a blank screen. Words are not coming easily to me, and I have a thought from Paul David Tripp running through my mind. I’m paraphrasing (as I’m listening to the audio), but he said, in the word of God there is no shame in sharing the suffering. In fact, Psalms is full of the hard, the ugly, and the barren times. This resonates with me today.

I want to put on a good face and say that I’m okay. I’m great. things are good. Yet, that is not my reality today or yesterday or the day before. I’ll be brutally honest and tell you how I want to rush to tell you God is faithful. (He is) I don’t want to just leave with..life is just hard right now.

But it is.

I woke up today at 3 am in pain over my head, lower body and hands. I lay awake, dozing at times, listening to the word of God. Clinging to the words of John that are familiar and make me smile. It hurts to walk.

there it is. I wrote it out. People ask me how I’m doing, and when reality isn’t changing, how do I respond? There are suggestions made. Prayers offered. And yet, my day to day does not change.

So I stare out my windows in the house god gave us nearly a year ago. I see the beautiful trees. I see my favorite birds, robins, hopping around. Here’s where I start every morning. Shades open. Looking into the beauty out my windows. Then i worship. I remind myself by way of Scripture. i do this every morning. My mind and my heart are moved by daily time listening and reading his word.

Psalm 28 LORD, i call to you; my rock, do not be deaf to me. If you remain silent to me, I will be like those going down to the pit.

Psalm 28:1 HCSB

In the physical, spiritual or emotional pain I am facing, the first call is to God. I remember he is my rock, my firm foundation, my solid ground. I can be honest that there is a fear he may be deaf to me. I can say this out loud and ask that he not be silent in his response to me. I know how easy it is to feel as though I am going down.

Psalm 28 Listen to the sound of my pleading when i cry to you for help, when i lift up my hand toward your hold sanctuary.

Psalm 28:2

Listen. Oh, God, listen. Pleading. I have had points of begging for relief, cries for help. the first thing to do is worship. that may sound a bit strange, but worship. Praise Him. Get my mind off my own and lift up my hands. Music. Psalms of praise.

Psalm 28 Do not drag me away with the wicked, with the evildoers, who speak in friendly ways with their neighbors while malice is in their hearts. Repay them according to what they have done according to the evil of their deeds. Repay them according to the work of their hands; give them back what they deserve.

Psalm 28:3-4

It’s so easy for me to look outside, to compare, to wonder why this is my experience. I want God to act on my behalf, and its so easy to look with my humanity and not with his divinity.

Psalm 28 Because they do not consider what the LORD has done or the work of his hands, he will tear down them and not rebuild them. Blessed be the LORD, for he has heard the sound of my pleading.

Psalm 28:5-6

So, the opposite is, I want to consider what God has done. I want to partake of the work of his hands. I am inscribed on his hands. He will not tear me down, he will rebuild. So I turn and bless the LORD. He hears me. This is faith. This is what I base my hope upon.

Psalm 28 LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart celebrates, and i give thanks to him with my song.

Psalm 28: 6-7

i know he is my strength. I know he is my shield. My feelings are not the truth. My heart trusts in him. I declare this. I know I am helped. And I can celebrate, pain is still here, but I can celebrate. I keep looking to him and setting my face upon him. And so I sing.

Psalm 28 The LORD is the strength of his people, he is a stronghold of salvation for his anointed. Save your people, bless your possession, shepherd them, and carry them forever.

Psalm 28:8-9

Amen.