Has it been this long?

This was written a few weeks ago, but never published…

Sitting here on a steamy, humid Thursday, I look out my windows and there is not a movement in the bushes or trees. Everything is still. The birds are hiding in the cool of the trees. It is a summer day. My walk today was brief and I bought Luna a cooling vest. She loved it and for the first time since we have had her she played in the puddles left by the rain. She splashed and played and had a blast. She was perfectly in the moment.

Something I am learning over and over again in this stage of life is the beauty of being in this moment. The uncertainty of tomorrow, the memories can flood over me in drowning with cares and concerns. I do this overthinking thing at an expert level.

Do you ever do this? In my mind I have an entire scenario not based on any hard facts, but on possible outcomes I’ve developed . Hang on.

For instance, one of my favorite horses at the barn where Ella works colic(ed) sp? yesterday. They were able to save him and the vet was able to stabilize him, but when we didn’t know, the thoughts tanked me. It caught me up short. I began to see how this was not faith. It was me trying to come up with what to do next, when I couldn’t do anything. I wonder if this is our brains’ way of preparing for any possible scenario. Any.

At the very root, I am saying to the Lord, I can figure this out. I have this under control, when, in reality, I am a child playing in the puddle when there is the most beautiful swimming pool next to me. This is not where the joy is found. In fact, I am robbed of joy.

Our church has been spent the last six months in the book of Hebrews and tonight, we finish the book in Bible study. We have reviewed each week the topics of the chapters. Jesus is/better than…

• Angels ch. 1
• Made a little lower than the angels ch.2
• Moses ch. 3
• Offers the better rest ch. 4
• High Priest ch. 5
• Offers the best hope ch. 6
• Melchizedek ch. 7
• A Better ministry ch. 8
• A better covenant ch. 9
• The perfect sacrifice ch. 10
• The best example of faith ch. 11

In my looking back through the chapters at my notes, I have taken the focus off my problems and cares, placed it on Jesus. My thoughts elevated as I considered Jesus. In the final chapter 13, we are called remember. Remember those in need, in prison. Keep your life free of chains.

“Let your character [your moral essence, your inner nature] be free from the love of money [shun greed—be financially ethical], being content with what you have; for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!” [Josh 1:5] So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently say, “The Lord is my Helper [in time of need], I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” [Ps 27:1; 118:6]”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭AMP

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I might be able to argue that even in the fear of stability concerning money can become an idol in my life. It’s what I’m thinking about, it’s what I pray about, I become me focused very quickly when I am in this frame of mind.

I will never, ever, ever, ever leave you. I love Amplified version here. Is there any circumstance where our God won’t be? Not according to this! He is with us.

Finally, I call this to mind and have hope. (Lamentations 3) This is my focus.. I call His promises to mind and have hope. I am in the trenches training my mind to consider Jesus and in so doing, I find peace. And I remind myself, I know Jesus, but even more important, He knows me and loves me. So many stories from the Chronicles of Narnia come up in my mind, but I’ll leave you with this quote from Aslan, the great lion.

“But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”
— The Voyage of the Dawn Treader