Waiting

Those of us who are waiting for a cure. Waiting for a way through. Waiting for the next step. Hoping the next part of life will be or not be…. We live as those waiting. It could be as easy as waiting for a train or a phone call or a letter. It could be as hard as waiting for a doctor to call back, seeing if a treatment worked. It could be wondering about tomorrow or a year ahead.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.” Ephesians 1:18-20 NIV

One of the last times Dad was able to come to my house (about an hour and a half away), Danny was making pizzas. Noah was bustling around getting drinks. Joshua was helping Danny. Luke and Ella were sitting at the table with us as we watched the chaos. Dad’s dementia was getting worse, but I’ll never forget him looking around at my family, his wife (my mom) and I and saying, “I always wanted to know what it was like to be a part of a loving family. Then it just hit me, I am. This is my family.” I love that he was able to see that come to fruition.

“…I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sister, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14 NIV

Yesterday, my brother’s family, my family, and my mom stood around Dad’s bed and we prayed for him and us. Another realization, he is leaving this earth loved and surrounded by family. That is legacy to me. They say that hearing is the final sense to go. I hope that is true. I think it must be. In the chaos of Saturday night, I stood next to Dad’s bed and we touched heads. I told him things and all of a sudden he gripped the back of my head and said that he loved me. Another gift. A gift to me.

I forget the healing that comes with writing. Remembering.

Here’s something that hits me as I watch the sunrise, I do not remember this memory, but I have been told it many times. The year I was born was the year of the 17 year cicadas. Dad used to say that he would take me outside to listen to the cicadas. Thankfully there were no stories of cicadas jumping on me, haha. I love that image though of my Dad wanting me to experience something even as an infant. Haha, another one, my mom and dad, before I was born, used to watch Sesame Street. lol. Having two educators for parents, am I right?

” Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” I Peter 1:3-9 NIV

Notice that our hope is not based in this moment right now. Our hope is through the resurrection of Jesus and the inheritance given of heaven. The same power that raised Jesus is alive in us. As I watch dad’s body fail, the language in this section of Scripture hits me. He speaks of gold. He speaks of things that perish, that you cannot take with you. All we have is the love between Christ and us, our belief even without sight, culminating in joy. It’s that fixing our eyes when all around us hurts and aches.

Birth and death. Both are the act of waiting. Birth blesses us with the miracle of a child. Death ushers us into the very presence of Christ. Neither find us with items from this world. Neither have gold or possessions accompanying us.

“Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.'” Job 1:20b-21 NIV

And finally for today…

“The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” Job 33:4 NIV